It's Ok to be an American Woman

Every time I fucking turn around on the Internet, some European son of a bitch is bashing on Americans. It pisses me off. They take the stereotypical fat southern woman, and apply it to all of us. They say, "This is America. So unattractive. We are so much better."

Fuck you.

Let me tell you a story. A story about a man who thinks he's Euro. A story about a girl who finally told him what's up. That girl is me.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Suresh. Suresh is from a rich, political family in India. Suresh left his family to come to America, still known as the Land of Opportunity. He started from the bottom up. Suresh owns two businesses, both in the same mall. One is a coffee kiosk. The other is a gold and diamond kiosk, mostly catering to thug wanna-bes who spend their welfare check on bling. Suresh is tall, dark-skinned and handsome.

There was also a woman named Anna. Anna is from a middle-class American family. Anna owns no businesses, no mafia family she can fall back on. She works as an assistant manager in a boutique. She met Suresh, who noticed her for her smile. Suresh was kind to her, so she timidly accepted his friendship.

Suresh behaved in a suave, sophisticated manner. He often made passes at Anna. Many times they were overtly sexual in nature. Suresh learned that Anna was practically engaged to an Army specialist. Suresh still kept flirting.

Suresh began to attempt to wine and dine Anna. He started with lunches, slush stops in other coffee shops and even bought her a beer one night.

Finally one day Suresh made his move. He came to Anna one night as she was working and he looked her up and down. "You look so kissable in green," he smiled. "Where's the security camera? Let's say hi!"

Anna spurned him. Even as she did so, he kept trying. A week later, he came to her again, this time feigning sadness and hurt feelings.

"Why do you not speak to me?" he pouted.

"I made a mistake," Anna answered. "If you leave it alone, Suresh, if you walk away, it will be alright."

"You're wrong about me," he said. "You don't even know me."

Anna revealed her nature in her anger and made him back away a step. "If you think it wrong that a woman takes measures to protect herself, please, feel free to think so," she growled dangerously.

Suresh made a mistake. The Indian man mocked her, imitating her gesticulations with a smile. Anna became what she truly was, and issued an order to this little man who could not understand, much less hope to provide, please and husband a strong-willed American woman.

"Come to me no more, Suresh. For on that day, you will surely die."

And Queen Anne lived happily ever after. The End.